It happened. A rainy, messy day. The internet was down. My hotspot was not working. We made it to lunch before the meltdown. The blocks, books, balls, cars, puzzles, and magna-doodle had been played out. We even made a fort.
He is accustomed to taking in a show with lunch… or at least enjoying some music. I desperately searched. Two devices have taken the place of our radio, TV, computer, DVD player, and even games. The devices need WiFi. We have no radio. We have no regular dish/cable TV. We have no desktop computer. We have a DVD player we had when we first married in a box somewhere deep in the garage, I think. We have a gaming system or two in that same box. After the 158th verse of “The wheels on the bus,” Henry’s tantrum had infected Ezra too. Two screaming children. Not just yells now. Full tantrum screams. I’m sure the neighbors think I was beating them. I hoped the noise of the rain covered it.
Henry was now smushing his face to the glass of the back door signing outside. Annnnd now blowing his cheeks out while yelling against the freshly cleaned windowpane. Snot and slobber and tears smearing against the pane. Oh my. We can’t play in this flood. Ezra is a 18lb wiggling gobby weight. He uses every muscle in his tiny baby body to launch himself to and fro. Even in the boba wrap I need both arms to catch his head when he wrestles it out. That means chasing Henry with two arms occupied. Not happening in this monsoon. Henry is refusing to eat lunch. Hmmm. He has real tears now. Okayyyyy. He refused a nap too. The difficulty level of this day keeps building. I’ve made up my mind. Car ride. That’ll get em.
I wrestle Ezra’s car seat cover back on the frame… it takes longer than it should. Way longer. I had to clean it from yesterday’s blowout. I’m hooked to a breast pump and trying to calm both tiny angry people at the same time. Geez. I’ve loaded a 2mm aneurysm clip in the dark to a yelling surgeon while passing suction and hemostatics to two residents on an actively bleeding patient in under a few seconds. I can do this. I’m sweating trying to load the boys up. The harmony of their cries pierces the cab of the car. I grab my coffee… it’s been reheated about 5 times today and it’s almost 2pm but I’m going for it. Hail Mary.
By the end of the street they are both out cold. I can’t take my hand off the wheel. It’s raining too hard and I need to keep both at 10 and 2. I sigh and accept the coffee will not be consumed. NPR because I didn’t prepare a podcast. And I hear it. There is no way the car seat made it through the blow out I just heard over the rain, car noise, and NPR. I just got that cover cleaned and put back. Why? Why, tiny one? A huge toothless grin and two bright eyes are in the review mirror. Gurgling and quite pleased with himself, Ezra doesn’t seem to be phased by my questions.
When James got home I told him I could not have a day like this again. I needed a back up. We needed a radio or record player. We need to download a movie on an iPad. I hate, HATE to rely on technology. It’s a crutch. I know it. But it allows me to keep the house running and allows me to feed myself. I refuse to be this ill prepared again. Parenting for today- I need the tech. I accept it.
Technology is a part of life. I hate it most of the time. I don’t want it to be our whole life. But Momma needs coffee. Momma needs to do laundry. The Sandlot and 90s hip hop make those things happen with no tears.