To What Purpose?

After lots of love and encouragement from my amazing husband, family, and friends, I have decided to take the plunge into blogging. Having a blog is not something I ever thought I would do, but here we are. While we are talking about it, I never thought my life would take many of the roads it has and that is perfectly okay. I have learned to embrace the flow of this life with all the twists, turns, and detours and enjoy the ride!

I have three big hopes for this blog. I hope to shine a light in the world and bring normalization for those of us living with different abilities and raising differently abled children. My greatest wish is that this blog brings peace, calm, and hope to parents receiving a Down Syndrome diagnosis for their sweet little one. Finally, I selfishly want this to be a creative outlet to vent and be real about working, motherhood, and life in general.

Sharing knowledge about Down Syndrome and disabilities is the greatest way I can advocate for my son and my family. Knowledge is power and combats ignorance and darkness. One of my biggest fears when Henry was born was that he would have to fight ignorance, hate, and discrimination to survive in this life and get a fair shake. Many hot, angry tears were shed in his early days as a product of my imagination’s invented scenarios he may have to endure. My imagination can be my greatest enemy- sometimes becoming a labyrinth of “what-ifs” that can spiral into worry and despair if I don’t check myself or reach out to my husband for a lifeline. Even with my worry at the forefront of my mind, I have seen great love in this world. When love is paired with knowledge, it is able to eliminate a root of discrimination and hate: Ignorance. If I can shine a light on what Down Syndrome and our journey really is, maybe I can cancel out a tiny portion of ignorance and make the world a little easier for Henry.

When we heard the words “Down Syndrome,” we faced fear- mainly of ignorance and the unknown of what Henry’s life would look like. We were so scared his life would lack quality and the typical experiences and joys in childhood. My husband was a rock and never ever dipped even his toes in the “What if” game- he spoke only positivity and joy into our son’s future. He was able to look out into the internet and find gems of hope; I was not able to seek solace in anyone else’s journey or experiences. Fear had gripped my heart so hard, the only way I could find joy in my pregnancy and motherhood was to focus on MY baby. My baby is his own little person. He was not Down Syndrome. He was not less. He was not typical. He was Henry. I wish I had been able to peek into someone’s life and find hope without fear or judgement. And maybe even to be so bold as to ask questions my heart held. I want to be that peek into a real life that someone may need when hearing their baby has Down Syndrome, Trisomy 21, or any chromosomal condition. I hope someone standing paralyzed at hearing a diagnosis finds my words comforting and maybe even amusing at times. Breath, relax, and rest in knowing that truly everything in your life will be so much better than you could even imagine.

I have been searching for a creative outlet for some time. I have learned that some self care is a must in order to be the best wife, mother, and person possible. Even as a child I dreamed about writing a novel, reveled in submersing myself into books, and plunged my whole self into writing assignments, and so this blog is a fulfillment of a desire of old. It isn’t easy to carve out time to be selfish anymore. There is always a little bit of guilt that is creeping in the background. I count this space as part of my self care and look forward to filling it with stories of our past and present.